Kitchen Nightmares and Blogging Daydreams

I was watching Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares again as I often do, and I find that the more bad Gordon Ramsay shows that float to the surface of the Food Network stock pot, the more fresh this show seems. After watching him chase his kids around for an hour on The F Word, I'm more than delighted to listen to his rants.

However, almost every time I sit down to watch Kitchen Nightmares some faceless drone wanders onto the scene and feels the need to tell me that he's just a hyperbolic asshole tailoring himself for ratings, to which they undoubtably suspected I would answer: "I like screaming", "mayhem is mayhem no matter how fabricated", or perhaps even "NO...NO HE'S NOT...CHEF RAMSAY IS REAAAAALL!!!".

Here's what I really think: cooking is Chef Ramsay's life's work, and he has gone to incredible lengths to be called the best at what he does. When people serve rotted microwave food and expect legions of fans, it's a personal insult. It's like saying that what he does is easy and he has wasted his life.

Is he actually able to renew this passion to swear at each and every haggard restauranteur? Who knows, that's the mystery of Kitchen Nightmares and it is only this and the chronicling of forehead wrinkle magnitude for scientific purposes that keeps people watching. Better yet, I don't really care. I watch informercials for fun so that should be a pretty fair indicator of what I consider to be passable non-animated TV. (Cartoons should know better than to be crappy, they've had to fight years of oppression).

Check out those crazy wrinkles, even without a filter.
Image extracted from: http://www.remotepatrolled.com/2010/04/reality-bites-2/

For all those who aren't quite so invested in the Food Network as I am: The F in The F Word stands for Food. :(

But the story isn't over imaginary readers. Ramsay isn't just back, he's back with a fUtUrIsTiC TwIsT. (For all those who don't know how I speak, every lowercase letter is pronounced on a low tone and every capitalized letter on a high tone for maximum indication of whimsy).

This last episode, Ramsay spies a group of nerdy bloggers at a table that had been waiting about 40 minutes for service. GASP. He darted over and looked at the main offender's phone, and hightailed it back to the manager to say. "She just blogged. "I'm Hungry". (Cue the desperation music)

I think its later discovered that she's a semi well known food blogger, but still.
I've decided that this blog is about 50% Animation 40% Food Network and 10% school assignments, therefore I am the successful writer of a part time Food Blog.
If you see me on the street, please remind me to proceed with the following plan:
Step 1: show up at my next dining experience with my laptop, forget the whole iPod crap. I want there to be no question about what I'm there for.
Step 2: completely ignore everyone at my table in favor of typing random crap into Twitter and angling my laptop screen awkwardly to take pictures of all the food with my built in webcam.
Step 3: Marvel as Chef Ramsay materializes out of the ether to bring me incredible food and dazzling service.

Here's a clip from one of my favorite episodes where he actually shuts down a Mexican restaurant due to health concerns. He straight up walks into the dining room and sends home everyone who are unknowingly eating rotten food.



But wait, there's more, you lucky people.  I'm even going to post a link to the exact episode I was watching the other day. (in full)
I would cross out a payment too instead of just doubling the offer, but unfortunately nobody is paying me.

Full Episode of Kitchen Nightmares- DownCity