Plight of the Conchords

Last night, I watched the season premiere of The Simpsons, not because I really expected there to be any huge development in the ongoing plot, but because the big name cartoons are really the only good thing on sunday tv before Iron Chef makes the nightly runs. (P.S last night was RIIICE BATTLLEE!!!) (P.P.S Large and in charge ginger-italian chef Mario Batali has taken to wearing crocs :(- Comeon Mario, I know its rough standing on that podium for days on end waiting for a challenger to call you down, but is that really the best you can do?)

Anyway, all week long, Fox obsessively tried to cultivate excitement about the cast of Glee, guest appearing in the season premiere, and then when I watched the episode (which was definitely not for the Glee factor (I think those kids are immensely talented but the plotlines are pathetic and the promotions are ridiculously aggressive) they barely flashed cartoon glee depictions across the screen with a five second rendition of a public domain song. 

Just when I thought all hope for a good episode was lost, Bret and Germaine from Flight of the Conchords swooped in on the scene and stole the show with a slew of adorable musical numbers.

So what happened here, the Conchords pull out all the stops and Glee swoops in for the credit? Or did they really not believe that Flight of the Conchords could generate enough excitement to get the episode watched.

They hadn't even briefly mentioned their appearance in any of the commercials.

I don't know why I'm so insulted. Maybe it's because I think they're real talents and they can speak for themselves. (Not that the Glee kids aren't talented, because they have phenomenal voices. (not that I couldn't do that)).- What I couldn't do is crank out hilarious hits like Bret and Germaine

 (BTW I sing and have been looking for a band for my whole life, but everybody's gotta be a front man) Plus there's a new trend of having people who can't sing, just go ahead and sing anyway. :(

Well I say: IT'S BUSINESS TIME! If the Conchords are starting to fail, it's our job to keep them afloat.

QUICK TO THE FANDOM-MOBILE!!!!  (For all those 25 km or more away from the fandom-mobile, just grab onto the nearest guitar and soar into the sky.

Fotch-talian Mario Batali's Homepage

Why Can't I Be A Misfit. It Turns Out I'm Just a Twit-Wit

Yes, contrary to everything I hold dear, I am now plugged into the twitterverse :(
I even have a username to prove it: bperrelli2.
Right now my twitterances are limited to following all of the Food Network chefs. Except you Rachel Ray!
You've had enough exposure for one lifetime.  How does one woman manage to get so many shows. Pretty soon you'll have to absorb all of that Rachel Ray in Matrix-Style.
Plug into the Rachelverse for two minutes and wake up saying. "Woah, I just made a Thirty Minute Meal".

Side note: for all of thsoe who didn't get my immensely clever highly specifc title, its a reference to the misfit song from Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. "Why am I such a misfit I am not just a nitwit"
Little known fact that I've been promoting for years now: there are like four versions of that movie. In only the very first release they Yukon Cornelius strikes peppermint (alluding to how he always licks his pick-axe) and they reference it in all the sequels. And in the final release (the only one that plays on tv now) they cut out the fame and fortune song that they introduced in the second release and replaced it again with the original song from the first one (a shotty re-hashing of the misfit song).
Keep this in mind over winter holidays: You are missing out on a superior musical number!
and for that matter, remind me to give you my spot-on impression of the entire Island of Misfit Toys musical number (with all of the voices!!) (my secret skill)

Sigh

Brea
Check it out, I'm not making this up

They Blinded Me with Science

Ok, I had to make a post because I've just made the most hilarious yet obvious discovery.
I didn't realize that adsense used keywords from my blog to formulate links to ads. After a week of I-don't-need-to-look-at-my-blog-for-a-week- goodness, imagine my surprise when I open my page, scroll down to the comments and find that the very first ad is one for GILLETTE!, and the headliner? Their new ProGlide garbage, with razors so thin they dissolve in liquid (surprise family and friends!)
This clearly has nothing to do with integrity and everything to do with me being the undisputed champion of public relations :P (and unintentionally yet). (remember all press is good press???).

So now I'm thinking; Can I reference really popular things out of nowhere to guarantee more clicks equalling nearly countable pennies for me?

Let us see what pops up shall we...
uh, what do the kids like nowadays

Cakes, Weddings,Weight Loss, Travel, Beach, Money Snowboard, Career, Yoga, Acai Berry, Sex and the City, Breast Enlargement, Zumba, Morgan Freeman (Side note: As much as I love you Morgan Freeman, just because you have a voice schtick, does NOT mean you are Stephen Hawking. Get back in your wormhole!)

and lets cap it all off with a nice
EASY
EASY
EASY
EASY
EASY
EASY

for good measure.

Cutting Edge (heh.......heh)

A Week Into Nowhere

           The Razor Edition

So it seems that I'm still sitting on the blog sandbar and already I've waded in over my head. I have no topic.

                                                                                                                           (Sandbar Jellyfish)
                                                                                                                        (The most fearsome kind)

However, I desperately needed to update so now for hopefully a one time deal I'll post the only thing that's been rolling around in my brain as of late- a standup comedy bit that I wrote in the shower (where I generate all my best comedy). -It must be in the hair washing process that we relieve our scalp from all the dirt clogging our head pores and allow our brains to breathe that makes 90% of my developments in any field come from inside my shower. Unless it's the fact that there is nothing else you can possibly occupy yourself with, and the mind wrenching procrastinator's guilt is lifted. Honestly I think everyone would accomplish a lot more if we weren't always giving ourself grief about our lack of accomplishment.

Anyway, regardless of how poor my form is on delivering this bit via text (sorry Kenton) here it is:

Razors

Razors are always keeping on the cutting edge of technology aren't they? Every year they release another razor with one more blade than the last. OH MY GOD, GENIUS! If three blades was good, four blades must be fantastic! Hair-excecution technology-wise: what we should have been expecting by now instead of a hand-held guillotine, is a under-the-skin guided missile system that nukes hairs at the source. Instead, the R and D department must have done all their work in less than a month in the fiftties and retired to cabins in the woods where they could upkeep their facial hair on a full time basis.

Do they really think we don't know that they have a warehouse full of premade razors with progressively increasing blades until the 20 blade-rs saved for release in 2030? People are worried about Sony and Apple ripping them off but they should be directing the skepticism at the "revolutionary comfort strips" and "E-Z Countour handles" disguising themselves as technological updates while they keep the real developments for segregated distribution.

Or is it just that if they skipped right from 1-5 it would seem obscene? But once you've walked away from 4 sustaining only minor injuries- 5 doesn't seem too racy.

Or better yet, maybe the slow progression of closer shaves was made more difficult by the church. Maybe the increasingly hairless leg is looking more and more obscene, so they started a campaign. Keep your leg pores plugged up with hair or the devil will get in- and that's the cause of restless leg syndrome today- a mild demonic possession. (No big deal)

Personally, I think we're not far away from a large home-unit slab of metal -(BLADES OF THE INFINITY RAZOR UNITE!) and we'll just sharpen it and rub ourselves against it. It's our responsibility to preemptively make them ourselves and scare Gillette into releasing the whole razor bounty on us. Once we've  hit the pinacle of their technology, all of their stock will just seem obsolete and we'll all be up to our necks in free razors. People will be shaving places where there isn't even hair!- Ah what a smooth utopia...

Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say for now

How about that abomination on the right?

Happy Shaving,
Brea

The Madness Begins
The Washington Post Bashes Razors

Getting Underway

So it seems that I've finally started a blog. Since the idea is kind of anti-establishment, the action definately doesn't fall under the reign of "The Man". However, I still feel like a global mobilization of this magnitude has a "The-Manish-Feel". I guess this can be his rebellious brother. Let's call him "The Problem Child". He's the one that dropped out of Yale to persue his dreams of photographing pets at ridiculously high prices, yet still has the same nose and chin as his esteemed sibling.
And since I'm flirting with the problem child by even building this profile (leaning up against his motorcycle, giggling and whatnot), does monetizing qualify as marrying into TheMan surname? Either way the deed is done, my inlaws are creeping me out, and I'm pretty sure I'm in for a cubic zirconia ring.

NOW LET'S GET BLOGGING!

Unfinished Business: The entire idea of a blog is unfinished business- and I'll be returning to my eternal work-in-progress at least once a week until the end of time. What's on the agenda? I'll start off with what I'm thinking about- and hopefully (or not?) I'll discover that I'm secretly much more predictable than I imagined myself to be, and my blog with inadvertently transform into a structured topic.