I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas Christmas

So as the holiday rulebook specifies, as soon as the the first snow falls, the rest of the world can catch up to retail and start getting excited for Christmas.

Brea, you may say? You are the most jaded person I know? You, who hates every other holiday actually likes Christmas, the holiday hated most by jaded people?
Yes! I love Christmas!!! wheeeeeeeee

I'll share my secret with you.

Those who have not been met with yuletide tragedy dislike the holiday simply because they haven't been properly acquainted with Bing Crosby. No not Bill Cosby, Bring Crosby! the most troops-lovin' kid beatin' droop-faced crooner this side of Christmas.

But Brea! you say, Bing Crosby isn't even all that talented. He doesn't hit any high notes, have remarkable vocal power, he can't dance and has virtually no snowmanship.
It's ok!! They'll pair him with somebody actually talented like Fred Astaire  or Danny Kaye and pass it off like Fred is actually using Bing to look good.

Here he is looking good in a Family Guy parody:

                                              http://familyguy.wikia.com/wiki/Bing_Crosby

By now, I'm sure you've realized that I'm referring to my two favorite holiday movies:
Irving Berlin's White Christmas        and
Holiday Inn -If the traffic noise affects you, like a squeaky violin..kick your cares down the stairs and coooome to holiday inn!

The plots are a little too convoluted to type in a space that wouldn't be unreadable and annoying, but trust me, it's cinematic genius- they're always some sort of inn INNvolved, there's crazy schemes and deceit and musical numbers galore!
I wait all year for singing the songs to magically transform from annoying to appropriate.

As extra incentive to see at least one of the movies, I will give you the only joke line of Holiday Inn- don't get me wrong, there's funny parts but this is the only part where they actually made an attempt at an actual joke:
(a lot more actual joke attempts in White Christmas)

Bing Crosby has moved out by himself to the farm that he had bought for his and his fiance/show partner Lila's life together, but the day after he quit his show career, Lila left him for Fred Astaire, the dancer in their act. Bing often complains that on holidays, instead of taking a break, people in show business put on even more intense shows, so he wanted to move away from the city to "live life by the holidays". He returns with jars of farm peach preserves for Fred and Lila and Fred's agent who's always lurking around.

Fred says: Oh boy, peach preserves, do I ever go for those. They're great on.....or even plain!

Then they take cover in the dressing room as the preserve jars explode from exposure to the nightclub air.
And do I sit there year after year biting my nails, waiting for the only joke line so I can laugh my ass off? You know I do!

The moral of the story: See the movies, sing often, and apparently, Bing Crosby has the authority to tell people when to go to sleep.

White Christmas

Holiday Inn

Fun fact for everyone who doesn't know: The reason why White Christmas is not a public domain song, and its impossible to get sheet music for is because its an Irving Berlin song appearing in both movies and the rights are heavily protected.

One more fun fact: White Christmas is playing at Manitoba Theatre Centre! -I only regret that it was too close to the deadline and I couldn't review it for the journalism review assignment. Not to mention I'm going to Tosca tonight and it's somehow less expensive.

Go Buy Tickets Now:
Holiday Inn at the Manitoba Theatre Centre- at least go for the water wall!-




One of the first Scenes from White Christmas- just look at this adorably awful set






Adorable musical number or recruitment video- WHO CARES!! One of the final scenes of White Christmas




Opening Scene of Holiday Inn